Star Wars needs a Darth Clausewitz and all they got was a Vader...

Let's get real here. Star Wars is a fantastic series that's built an amazing universe with characters that we adore and loathe (but really, aren't those two things just two sides of the same coin...), blended elements of SciFi and fantasy into one delicious space frappe, and BB-8. But there is one thing that really, really, REALLY, gets me whenever I watch a Star Wars movie (including the newest, but no real spoilers here so you are safe). It seems everyone, especially in positions of military authority are staggeringly incompetent at conducting war. Chocolate teapots would be more useful than these people. And I'm not just talking about the Stormtroopers.

Bunch of Milhouses...

How could I possibly think this? Well, let's go through two reasons in the time it takes the Falcon to travel 12 parsecs (or is it 14?):

1. Technology

Okay, so we can all agree that the technology in Star Wars is more advanced than that of our universe right? They've got faster than light (FTL) travel, extremely efficient power systems, energy based weaponry, advanced computing capabilities, sophisticated engineering, artificial intelligence, communications and sensor technologies that transmit vast distances almost instantaneously, hovercraft, and Death Stars. Mother. Effing. Death Stars. Also we know that they have weaponry that is akin to our missiles and bombs.

So can someone please tell me why is it that every damn dogfight takes place within visual range? Did everyone just agree that beyond-visual-range weapons were a no-no? I want to see the arms agreement please.

Star Wars Airpower Doctrine: Hope for the best? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

They could clearly develop these weapons even if they didn't already exist. Hell, they could probably develop weapons that don't require them to even be near the same damn planet. Personally, given the choice, I'd rather shoot at my enemies from a position that let's me not get shot at as well. So in a galaxy that consists of trillions of inhabitants, not a single one has ever had the idea of adapting almost ANY of these technologies for a military purpose. I mean sure, they might have been developed for peaceful purposes, but Star Wars isn't all that peaceful. There must be some truly terrible bureaucratic stifling of innovation going on or the patent system actively discourages inventors.

On a related note, I'm not really convinced that non-droid militaries are better than droid armies... The only claim we get as to the veracity of this is from the person selling the damn clone army. Totally an unbiased source... No one ever stops to ask if this is true? Obi-Wan is just all 'sounds legit' and goes along with it...

"Trust me because I tell you to" - every salesman ever

The droids in Star Wars are clearly capable of independent thought, demonstrate judgement, forward planning, and abstract and creative thinking (R2D2, you the real MVP). They are highly mobile and capable of fine-tune motor skills as well. Basically, Droids, they're just like us. Only they also don't sleep, eat, breath, tire, go to the bathroom, or have any of the other biological shortcomings of us meat sacks. If you want to just stick with the airpower theme, a droid piloted craft would simply be more efficient. Life support systems would be complex, power intensive, and fragile. Droids could basically be computers strapped to giant engines with lots of guns. Just make a tone of R2D2s and put them in ships. He's clearly the most competent character in Star Wars.

2. Military Doctrine

Military doctrine at the strategic, operational, and tactical level is woefully bad in Star Wars. I've come up with better strategies in Starcraft and that's basically just me clicking on units a whole heap of times to hear them say funny things.

The Empire is especially guilty of terrible ideas. Their only real overarching plan seems to be 'Death Stars'. They put a shit load of work into building these weapons that have a habit of getting blown up by smaller and less expensive ships. But hey, it's cool so let's keep doing it right?

Why does this keep happening you guys?

Ackerman at Wired magazine has a good article breaking down the Battle of Hoth, pointing out that both the Rebels and the Imperials are super shit at battle stuff. The only reasons the Rebels got away is because they managed to be marginally less terrible than Darth Vader. 'Be less shit than your enemy' is not a winning formula.

In Episode I we get to see that land battles are fought like Napoleonic pitched battles with column of troops nicely arranged to be annihilated by explosive ordinance.

So no one thought to bring the rocket launchers to this battle?

Also, capital ship space battles consists of broadsiding each other.

I'm beginning to think that everyone in Star Wars just doesn't care because they all harbour deep internal death wishes.

At least the lightsaber fights are cool? Nope.

You ruined everything George